Tipping Point

There was an absolute calm as the translucent mist floated across the dark of night. Even the lazy wind seemed to have stopped rolling. The blanket of silence absorbed even the emotions- as if communication was never a facet of existence. The moon, size of a clipped off nail, added little ‘enlightenment’ as life seemed more like hiding desperately from some unknown seeker!
I always believed that there was some 'tipping point' to the nights. A point where the spent forces of the day gave way to fresh spirits for the new day sun. A point where life stood neutral, albeit vulnerable but the most beautiful; where life did not carry the wish-lists, where there were no dimensions of accomplishments… where existence was liberated!
I had woken till late to witness this ultimate moment of life. I have tried to smell the airs, tried to wear the mist and soak in the warmth… I have tried to live that tipping point!
Education, from the alphabets to the numbers, seemed a pointless voyage. The mutation of knowledge kills knowledge itself and at the end we all turn no wiser than we were initially. The lessons of life, lessons in life, could never be scripted so beautifully with all the geometrics and logics of head and heart. Education remained a merry-go-round in the fair of a lifetime.
But today, at this very moment, I feel different. I feel complete. I feel as if I have won the prize but not at a cost. The fulcrum balanced around my existence as realization is borne out of experience. The matrix of various tools of education, signs, symbols and expressions of law and order seem to melt away, leaving behind the dimensionless point of existence – of me, being me, the only truth.
I haven’t lost anything today. Haven’t lost a corporate deal, haven’t been beaten at the stocks, not been left alone in love nor been hurt in some ego stroking duel. There is no reason to mourn as there is no reason to celebrate. There is no over-worked emotion catalyzing chemical illusions in me. But I feel different, I do.
Man, woman and the child- permutated in so many relations in this world, so many emotions, duties, expectations and evaluations. Worth! To prove the value. To earn the value! In itself, no one has any value. Nothing seems precious. The decorations of tangibles and intangibles of life bring meaning to everything. And today, for me, meanings seemed to have changed. Seemed to have shed the ornaments.
What have I lived for? The matured question never seemed to have a simple answer. I have lived for moments. I have lived for expectations- mine and others. I have lived for the seasons, the moods of life and also… have lived to die another day. Death has been repetitive, whoever said you only live once. Been born again and again, with each death, with each failure, with another shot at success.
Others, I have lived for but all for selfish ends, masked, hidden in ways, like the magic of ecological balance on earth, cruel yet necessary! I have lived and died just like the high waves at sea. But today, tonight, seems like serendipity.
The sphere around me seems to have halted. The inter-atomic movements, the Brownian motions, Newton’s laws, gravity… all seem to have been jinxed by some corollary spirit. The Tipping point that I have always imagined – the neutral reality of life. The flash point of life’s universal truth. The plateau of life where the object and image superimpose; the principle of duality, the good and the bad, dark and the light… all seem to have been absorbed into the spirit, the liberation of life.
I am awake, not a figment of a dream. I can see the familiar objects of life in various shapes, in various capacities, standing and holding together the fair we all belong to; the substrate of our existence – I can see them all.
But I feel different. If only words had the power to express what I feel now, if only this moment could be given a chance to grow, into something bigger… The tipping point of life, my life, came in that one static moment of truth, that night, when I had everything, everything, but truly nothing at all.
Existence of a point is a mere presence- formless and I? A mere form trying to exist, without a point.

Ps: I do not really know if there really is a moment of balance in our lives, a moment where existence is not driven by external forces but I just felt… something truly. Suddenly, and thought if I could write it down… Tipping Point, the marker of life’s voyage.